Loss
by ichigokurosakifreak
Summary: When Ichigo loses his powers he's distraught but not for the reason that everybody thinks. His inner hollow is gone, his love, his rock, his life has disappeared. But when he finds Shiro in his room what will happen? short one shot my first yaoi. Rated M for a reason


He stood and watched the sun fall behind the horizon, plunging the world into darkness. He listened to the sounds of the night fill the air as he stood motionless and crushed. He had gone. Shiro had disappeared.

The fight with Aizen had taken its toll, and now Ichigo was alone. Most would ask why in the world he would miss the Hollow inside him. Why would he miss someone so selfish and evil? But they didn't know.

They didn't see the long passionate kisses and the lust filled eyes, the protective hugs and the love filled emotions. They didn't see the love that Shiro had for him, the love they shared.

Ichigo threw his curtains together in frustration, not strong enough to watch the night's birth as he would have done with Shiro. His fists clenched and he walked to his bed and fell atop it. His squeezed his eyes closed and willed himself not to cry, not to be a silly love drugged girl. He needed to suck it up and get on with his normal human life, now that he had finally got it back.

He could hear the snores of his father from the other room as he probably fell asleep watching the TV, it was weird at first, knowing that his dad was a Shinigami. But now it didn't matter, he didn't mind.

And then suddenly, like his mind wanted to torment him; further images of Shiro flashed before him like some kind of cruel theater. Shiro looking at him with those black and golden eyes, filled with lust as they roamed his body and made him shiver. Shiro as he patched up his wounds after a bloody fight with a hollow. Shiro as he looked with such love and passion at him when they first made love.

But now he was gone, and he wasn't coming back. A tear fell from Ichigo's eye as his heart broke just that little bit more.

_Fuck this _he thought, as he shot up from the bed and punched his wall, why? Why was he acting like a stupid little girl? He swung his legs off his bed and pulled off his shirt. A shower, that's what he needed, to help him relax. He pulled off his joggers and walked across the hall to the bathroom.

He groaned as the scolding hot water hit is back, cascading down in little streams, sliding over this firm back and his toned skin; stopping when they hit some of the larger scars on his back. He hadn't bother to cut his hair and it now fell in his eyes, the water dripping off it down his face and over his chest.

He finished off and wrapped a towel around his waist, not bothering to dry his upper half as he liked the way the cool air felt against his wet skin. Refreshing and clean. He dropped his towel and stood just thinking as he dried off, he pulled on the clothes he brought and left the bathroom.

He pushed open his bedroom door and froze, his window was open. He didn't remember leaving it open, and didn't he draw the curtains? Now they fell open showing him the starry sky that he loved so much. He shrugged figuring I was his dad playing a trick on him as the snoring had stopped. He shut his door and deep scowl etched into his face.

He was drawing the curtains when he heard it, the slight intake of breath behind him, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He tensed and braced himself for some kind of impact, but nothing came. Surely if it was a surprise attack something would have happened by now. He slowly turned around his fists clenched ready to swing and he froze.

Standing by his far wall was a tall figure, and staring out at him were fierce golden eyes. He knew those eyes, they just stared and Ichigo stared back. He was frozen into place, this couldn't have been real.

The figure moved into the light and Ichigo's knees shook. Long white hair cascaded down his built and tall frame. Black and gold eyes flashed with and emotion Ichigo couldn't figure out.

Shiro.

Shiro was here in front of him.

Ichigo moved before he knew what he was doing, he moved forward his arms reaching forward ready to embrace him when he swung his clenched fist and punched the Hollow in the jaw. Shiro went down, sprawling on the floor, but he didn't move, he just lay there staring at the ground that was underneath him.

_Why? Why did I come back?_ Shiro asked himself and he felt the cold floor hit his face. But that was a stupid question, he knew the reason. Ichigo. Ichigo was the only reason he had survived. His king.

When he had merged with Zagestsu he tried to fight, tried to break free as he knew his king would die. But he couldn't he was stuck to watch as his love was pierced though. Then everything went black, pain, pain had erupted everywhere. He could tell he was going to die, going to cease existing. But he wouldn't die, he felt Ichigo's arms around him, felt his lips brushing over him, although he knew it wasn't real he had smiled. But then everything had gone black, all feeling and thought was lost and he was gone.

Ichigo breathed hard as he stood straight, rational thought coming back into his head. Why? Why had he just punched the man that he loved? Why when it was not his fault?

He didn't know why, and he felt his heart clench as he realized what he had done. Dread filled him; he fell down next to Shiro and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry I don't… I don't know why that...why I" He couldn't speak the sobs coming quicker and louder.

Shiro moved next to him, he turned and faced him still lying on the floor. His hand reaching out to cup Ichigo's cheek. Ichigo rubbed his face into that soft and gentle embrace. His eyes slipped shut as he fell into the feeling.

"Ichigo" came the deep tones of the god like creature next to him "Ichigo look at me" but he kept his eyes closed scared that if he opened them he would disappear, this amazing moment would disappear.

"Ichigo, did ya think I would really leave you?" the voice asked, filled with emotion.

"I didn't know where you had gone" Ichigo whimpered "You just vanished" a sob tore its way out of his throat.

"I'm sorry Ichi, that I was gone this long" the voice said softly. Ichigo shook his head.

"Don't apologize, it's my fault if I hadn't of tried to use that stupid…"

"NO" Shiro interrupted "Ya stupid idiot, you needed ta use it, ta save the people you loved"

"But I didn't save YOU!" Ichigo cried "I didn't save YOU! The one person that means most to me and I couldn't save you, it's my fault you disappeared it's my fault you were in pain"

Ichigo sat up anger rolling off him in waves, why had he been so stupid, why had he done that. He couldn't control it now he punched the floor in frustration, if he knew learning Final Getsuga Tensou would have taken Shiro away from him he would have never had done it.

Shiro sat up and faced his king, blood dripping down the corner of his mouth, he wasn't mad. He crawled forward until he was sitting right in front of Ichigo. His hands resting on Ichigo's knees.

He stared at the boy, his eyes roaming the body that he loved. The fiery orange hair long and shaggy falling into those lovely deep brown eyes and over his smooth tan skin. Ichigo's muscles showing through the tight top he wore, and his strong built arms that begged to be touched. Small and large scars covered his body, making him want to run his tongue over each one, to feel the jagged skin and show Ichigo that he was beautiful, and the scars didn't change that. But he held himself back, he wanted to talk to his love, to show him how much he loved him and that he would ever leave him again.

Ichigo looked up, their eyes locking. Deep brown on black and gold. Slowly, like it was natural to them, they leaned forward, closer and closer until they could feel the others breath on their skin.

"Ichigo"

"Shiro"

Both whispered before their lips touched in a hesitant kiss. They both pulled back, lust filling their eyes as they struggled to control themselves.

Shiro moved first, lunging forward and trapping Ichigo between the bed and him, as he climbed onto his lap and wrapped his legs around his waist. The both moaned as their clothed erections deliciously slid together. Ichigo slid his hands around Shiro's waist, and pulled him closer, as he kissed him with desperation. Shiro moaned and tangled his hands into Ichigo's hair puling forcibly and smiling as he heard the low moan escape from his lover.

Ichigo bucked his hips and pushed Shiro until he was on top of the other boy, lying on the small rug on his floor; he nearly drooled as he took in the sight in front of him. Shiro's hair had fanned out around him on the floor underneath him, his lips were parted and his cheeks flushed. His haori had fallen open and reveled part of his delicious smooth chest, Ichigo pulled it open showing more of Shiro's amazing soft skin.

Ichigo stared in awe as Shiro's muscles rippled before him. He leaned forward and slowly traced his tongue over his abs and finally stopped when he reached his nipple. His tongue slid over the nub and around it slowly teasing and tasting as it went. Shiro moaned and grabbed Ichigo's hair running his fingers through the soft strands. Ichigo sucked and licked on the small nub before moving on to the next one licking a path between them, never retracting his tongue. The white skin shined with saliva as Ichigo was pulled up for another bruising kiss. His tongue slid across Shiro's bottom lip; asking for entrance. Shiro complied and let their tongues do battle.

Shiro's hands fell from Ichigo's hair as he pushed himself up, not breaking the kiss. His hands found Ichigo's waist and he lifted the orange haired boy into his arms. Ichigo wrapped his legs around Shiro and pulled on his hair, Shiro chuckled and pulled away from the kiss. The two boys looked at each other, Shiro's eyes full of lust and passion as he looked at his king. Ichigo whimpered.

"Always impatient ain't ya" Shiro chuckled as he lay Ichigo down on the bed; he untangled himself from the other boy and looked down on a sight that made him shiver. He smiled as Ichigo surged forward and pulled him to him. Ichigo's hands grabbed his haori and pulled it off grunting as it snagged on Shiro's arm, then came Shiro's hakama which pooled around his feet. Ichigo grunted in surprise as he saw Shiro wore no underwear and smiled, he looked up through his eye lashes and grabbed his lover's hips and pulled him forward. Shiro moaned as Ichigo's hot mouth encased his erection, and breathed heavily as he started to bob his head backwards and forwards. Ichigo ran his tongue up and down Shiro's shaft coating it fully before pushing Shiro's hips back until the hollow was fully off him and spread his legs.

Shiro smiled, he ran three fingers up Ichigo's chest and slid them into his king's warm cavern coating them in saliva. Ichigo's tongue twisted around each digit licking each one, until Shiro pulled them out and ran them down Ichigo's chest, circling one around Ichigo's hard nub. Ichigo moaned and bucked up into Shiro tired of waiting.

"S…Shiro hurry… god please hurry" Ichigo panted as Shiro's fingers ghosted around his puckered hole. It was torture, true and utter torture; being without this man thinking he was gone forever had made Ichigo impatient.

"Haha you're so cute king, look at ya moaning, begging for me to take you" Shiro purred as he saw Ichigo's cock twitch slightly. His grin grew wider as a blush spread across Ichigo's face.

"sh…shut up" Ichigo breathed out, but before he could say anything else; Shiro's fingers entered him streatching and scissoring him. Ichigo arched off the bed as his lover hit that precious spot inside him over and over. "Please Shiro, fuck me just fuck me" He begged.

Shiro smirked and drew out his fingers and positioned himself at his king and lovers entrance. "Anything for you my king" he growled as he pushed in. Ichigo gasped and wrapped his legs around his hollows waist, the heels of his feet pushing against Shiro's backside forcing him in harder and deeper.

"Ngh Ichi I've missed ya" Shiro purred as he slid backwards and forwards sliding his chest against Ichigo's pulsing member.

"Shiro my god Shiro you feel so good" Ichigo groaned.

The white haired hollow didn't reply but instead unraveled the legs that were wrapped around his waist, ignoring Ichigo's whimper and throwing them over his shoulder and moaning as his whole member was engulfed by a warm and tight heat. He shivered and gasped as he heard the throaty growl that erupted from his king's mouth. He leaned down and kissed him, running his tongue across his lips and pushing it in. The two tongues battled for dominance as the two lovers moved against each other, pants and mewls filling the dark room, the bed underneath them squeaking and groaning under their movements.

The pants grew louder and the groans increased signaling both lovers were close.

Ichigo could feel the coil in his stomach close to unravelling, he could feel his release coming closer and closer and he knew Shiro was the same, the hollow was losing his pace and becoming more random in his actions and was covered in a light film of sweat. Finally Ichigo was tipped over the edge and cried out as his seed spurted in between him and Shiro. Shiro was next as Ichigo's walls clenched around him drawing him over the edge and making him see stars. He thrusted a few more times before collapsing down onto his king's chest.

"Don't leave me again" Ichigo whispered "Never again, I can't be myself without you please Shiro promise me"

Shiro leaned up and looked at Ichigo's deep chocolate eyes, he rubbed his nose against his and pulled the blanket around their naked frames and said "Never, you belong to me and I belong to you, and I never leave something that belongs to me."

**There it is, my first yaoi, I think it was okay. **

**Anyway please review thank you I hoped you liked it. **

**IchigoKurosakiFreak xx**


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